Recently, I was at my peak state. Highly energetic, full of life and almost always passionate with the work I’m doing. Too hectic that I didn’t find the time to write. There were times, however, that I decided i would write, but it seemed as though my muse weren’t in the mood to show up. Thus I didn’t come looking for it. I gave in to the chaos in my head—put the pen and paper aside and ignored the voices in my head that wanted to be written and be heard.
My problem is, i am currently obsessed. I say “obsessed” because i want to put emphasis on the fact that it’s REALLY bad. I am getting too obsessed with winning that all i get to think of was that goal. My mind became restless. My boyfriend even told me the other night that i came to a point where i sleep-talk, murmuring some things about work—and that’s where it hit me.
Though it’s true, that there’s nothing wrong about working so hard and focusing on a goal and getting all things done and believing that you will achieve it and actually making it happen but the question is—are you progressing? Am I progressing? The answer is NO. I am not growing because I don’t get to enjoy the process of winning because all i care about was getting it. My Reticular Activating System has overruled and programmed me well enough to focus on that goal that the rest of what used to matter a lot, started to matter less and lose its significance.
And that’s where the problem comes in. It’s when you wallow yourself in with long hours of work, thinking day and night of how to achieve the desires of your heart that you tend to forget how to pause and be grateful. We need to treat ourselves of some REAL kind of rest where you would stop stressing yourself out about your goals and targets and dreams and just about anything that drives you mad. It’s okay to be crazy and to be passionate and to be focused but hey, don’t forget to recharge your batteries. Don’t drain yourself too much and have some fun. I’m writing this at 2am as a note to myself with hopes that it will serve as a wake up call to all of you out there who’s been working so hard. I salute you. But please, don’t forget to take a break and learn to master the art of balance.