Lovin’ Muay Thai

Recently, I was going through something really painful and work has been quite demanding than usual hence I wasn’t able to post something here in my blog for almost a week. I still write through my journal albeit inconsistently but I reckon that I’m now back on track. I normally write fiction stories but this time allow me to share something about me that has made my life more exciting than ever. This sport not only improved my core and leg strength, but helped me a lot to relieve stress and to stay focused on what’s important.

Anyhow, the quick video above shows how amateur I am with Muay Thai but I’d post it anyway to document it because I initially thought I won’t fit in to this sport considering my size and weight but nevertheless, it was worth the try. I’m now lovin’ Muay Thai and its tremendous benefits to my body. To give you a little bit of history, Muay Thai is the national sport and cultural martial arts of Thailand that was developed hundreds of years ago. Muay Thai is referred to as “The Art of Eight Limbs”; using eight points of contact the body mimics weapons of war. The hands become the sword and dagger; the shins and forearms were hardened in training to act as armor against blows, and the elbow to fall opponents like a heavy mace or hammer; the legs and knees become the axe and staff. The body operated as one unit. The knees and elbows are constantly searching and testing for an opening while grappling and trying to spin an enemy to the ground for the kill.

What I find really fascinating in this sport is the inexplicable relief it gives me right after a session and the pure fun I get whilst doing it. The physical pain is indefinably intense that it has surprisingly overpowered the pain I’ve currently went through. I came to this realization that when you’re dealing with heartbreak or loss or any other form of emotional pain, a physical activity (apart from writing, of course) will help you cope up with it real fast—counter-attacking pain with another. This is not, however, a guarantee that getting engaged in a sport will numb all them emotional pain life throws at you but it will absolutely help you deal with it pretty well. Instead of allowing your roller coaster of negative emotions to eat you up as you cry over that heartbreak, why don’t you go out there, pick a sport or just freakin’ run the pain away? Lol, just sayin’. Let me end this post with a boomerang down there. Happy weekend, y’all.

How can I make a masterpiece?

You were supposed to write something.

But you couldn’t fathom why your mind is overflowing

With too much lists and codes, too much worries—it’s disgusting.

So you end up staring at your laptop,

fingertips ready to dance with the keypad,

eyes glued to the screen, chair’s heating up for real.

You’ve been planning to write something,

but no swift thought can satisfy your brain’s craving—for something original, something unclichéd that could mean a thing.

Then you turn to a book you were reading, hoping for the light bulb to say, ting!

Unfortunately there’s still nothing.

Is this a mere writer’s block or but pure folly?

Nonetheless, you really want to write something,

so you thrust your whole being to ponder thoroughly, to dig for ideas tremendously

But your disoriented mind is not helping.

It’s when your heart start pounding, that you realize what’s missing.

You forgot to listen to your heart, as your mind overrule you with boring facts and schemes.

It was saying something.

What did it say?

Your heart says it’s in pain.

You then grabbed this time your pen and paper,

jotting down each word your heart dictates.

You didn’t mind if it’s basic and plain, if it lacks pompous adjectives or peculiar adverbs

All you care is what your heart is telling you to create.

You didn’t mind how the readers would react.

It’s merely for the purpose of bursting them feelings out.

You then finish the piece out of sheer signals from the heart.

Making you discern it’s not hard after all, it only takes a heart that speaks to make a such masterpiece.

(Photo credit to owner)

The Pyschoweirdo’s voice (Part 2)

Who said I’m gonna fall for that crap? Seriously??? Ha ha. You don’t even have the faintest idea about who I truly am. I’m a one hell good of a liar so I’m not one who capitulates to that kind of bullsh*t. There are two voices inside me, however, that keeps on battling with each other. The devilish one said I must believe him, the angelic one though is obviously contradicting it—this angel’s voice urges me to do what I think was right, and not what everybody else think IS right. She’s been overruling me and I loved it that way. Ash will always be Ash. And not even a single mistake of sleeping with a good guy could turn this around.

Whilst listening to the hilarious debates of the two voices in my head, I stood up and waved for a taxi and asked the driver to bring me to Revel Bar, a different bar this time, so I can fulfill the needs of my skin and the tingling feels in my bones, I need to find a bad victim tonight. Otherwise, it’ll be boring.

I picked up my compact powder and put a little of retouch to my face to unleash yet again the lost glow because of the devil that suddenly spoke and argued with the angel I’ve been listening to for more than two decades. That Robbie guy provoked the devil to make me believe that someone could possibly like me on a deeper level. But what if the devil is right? Ugh nooo. Scratch that sh*t. I am bound to stand out, to be who I want to be, just as what the angel inside me has been telling me. That angelic voice has moulded the Ash that I am perfectly well. She has always pushed me to be different, to be bold enough to follow what I want because no one else can tell me what to do, because she said no one cares for me, no one could ever love me, and she’s just right about it.

I made a grand entrance in the bar as usual and everybody seemed to shower me with their seducing eyes speaking of lust and hunger, for the body I’ve been taking care of. You see, I like the attention, to be the center of it, to be the life of the scene, to see them poor eyes longing to touch me and to witness them fight for a single night with me. Because only one man could taste me tonight, one bad guy I’ve been thirsty of since three hours ago.

I saw a group of three guys at the center of the room, by the playbar, heedless of my presence. The ones who initially ignore my strong aura somehow turns me on, like the thought of a hunter finding it so hard to seek for the bear who’s hiding in the woods, it truly excites me.

The guy in the middle with dark colored almost curly hair wearing a plain white shirt and brown trousers, is the bomb. He has thick eyebrows that has complemented his brown or perhaps black eyes and his weird but naturally curled up lashes that looks so hot. He looks kinda Asian with that beautifully tanned complexion. He had no choice but to notice me as I distract them by making my way to the play bar, breaking the group by half, cutting off their non-sense conversations like an arrogant bitch, but the act made them giggle like hungry beasts after all. My skin slightly touched his by the elbow as I order a Martini, as his eyes looking straight to me, and now I’m a few inches away from a fantastic night. I had to secretly find out if he wears a wedding ring so my peripheral vision tried to help me but i see nothing. He smelled of a bad guy anyway so maybe it’s worth a try.

(Note: None of this story is true, this is just a pure product of my imagination, trying to improve myself in my pursuit of writing a novel.)

Liebster Award

liebster-award

I woke up this morning with a smile all over my face and a rainbow all over my place for this amazing blogger named Matthew G. who nominated me for this Liebster Award that I’m not sure if I deserve or not. But anywho, I’m encouraging everyone to please take time to visit his blog especially if you’re looking for some in-depth, heartfelt poems and creations that will definitely hit you deep in your soul. He’s one of the most passionate writers I’ve come across in just almost a month of blogging.

Yes, I’m a rookie in the blogosphere thus this award really makes me feel overjoyed. This was the second time I felt appreciated so I’d like to thank these two wonderful writers Enni and Matthew for the Blogger Appreciation Award and this Liebster Award respectively.

What’s the Liebster Award?:

It’s an award in which bloggers nominate other bloggers for showing respect to their works and their dedication. It’s an appreciation and recognition for all the fellow bloggers out there in the blogosphere.

 

Rules:

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you in your blog post and links back to her blog.

2. Answering 11 questions that the Blogger asked you.

3. Nominate 11 new bloggers to receive the awards and write them 11 questions.

4. List the rules and display the Liebster award logo in your post on your blog.

 

For Rule #1:

Again, thank you so much from the deepest layers of my soul for nominating me for this award, Matthew. I love all your works and I look forward to more posts from you!

For Rule #2:

Questions:

1. The natural even e.g natural cataclysm that suits to describe your personality, explain briefly why?

I’m an introverted extrovert—gregarious but sometimes prefers to be alone in my own world of imagination. Paradoxical, I know. Haha.

2. Any particular goal/dream related to writing or blogging?

Yes, I’d like to publish a pyschothriller novel in the future.

3. Weirdest thing you have ever done – details, please!

Uh oh this is a little tough to answer because I do a lot of weird things on a daily basis, being a weird person myself! Haha.

4. Misconception people believe, but you know the truth. Share something wise for us to grow smarter!

It’s a misconception that people think you don’t need to improve your memory as we age ’cause I think that if you can master the ways to develop your memory you will have a massive and positive change in your life and it will make you smarter. Just like what one of my favorite authors Kevin Horsley have focused on in his book called Unlimited Memory, regardless of the level of IQ you currently have, you can improve it just by following the methods he wrote in his book.

5. A hobby you like and the thing you fear most?

A hobby I like is running and the thing I fear most is death.

6. City or village, why?

City. Maybe because I’ve been living in the city my entire life and I like it here. Lol.

7. Would you rather be the villain or a hero?

The Villain with a heart of a hero.

8. Zodiac and your sign. Tell us if you believe in common belief of zodiac signs?

My sign is Sagittarius and yes I’m a believer of the Zodiac’s interpretation of personalities in each sign and the distinction of one to another.

9. Share a music you would recommend to me. I’m picky, be aware!

We came from a two different countries so I didn’t know if you’d like this one but my recent favorite Artist is The Weeknd and his song called Die For You.

10. What is your favourite eye colour? Mr Curious wants to know.

Blue because I have brown eyes and blue-eyed people are unusual in my country or in Asia in general.

11. Try to pick 3 words that describe me, based on my blog. Funniest is the winner!

Romantic, Soulful and Intelligent.

For Rule#3:

Here are the list of Nominees for the Liebster Award:

  1. Noor
  2. Enni
  3. George F.
  4. My Valiant Soul
  5. Padmkant Upadhyay
  6. DA-AL
  7. Ankit
  8. Lucas
  9. Melissa
  10. Bartek D.
  11. Jay Kaushal

Here are my 11 questions for you:

  1. If you’re given a round trip ticket for free and you can choose any country, what will that be and why?
  2. What is your best physical asset?
  3. Hot shower or cold shower? And why?
  4. What/Who inspired you to start your blog and what/who inspires you everyday to keep on writing?
  5. Name your top 5 favorite books of all time.
  6. If you’re going to be a teacher or a professor, what will you teach?
  7. If you won a million dollar today, what will be the first thing you’ll buy and why? 
  8. Define a good writing style or a great blog post.
  9. What’s that one thing you should have done today that you procrastinated to do?
  10. Do you follow any particular diet? If yes, please share the details.
  11. What hurts you the most?

 

So there! I’ll be waiting patiently for the nominees’ response to this. Thank you very much.

 

 

The psychoweirdo’s voice

Do I really have to apologize for it? For being emotionally wrecked, for being entirely true to myself, for pursuing these sexual urges and for the poison in my head filled with strong trust issues? Do I have to abide by the rules of relationships and pretend to be the cool girl the society expects me to be? I ain’t doing that shit. I deserve to live by my own independent laws about how to have a full life. A life that won’t forbid me to do the things that satisfy my skin’s cravings for some touch. A kind of choice that eases the pain of being alone but I didn’t want that to last long, being with someone that is. It makes me feel ecstatic to be caressed by married men, by them bad guys who needed some punishment. But ironically speaking, I cringe to the idea of a long term bond, a serious relationship with only one man—it smells like a disastrous thought to begin with. I’ve always been true to myself but I’ve been lying to them for the most part. One of the most pretentious things I’ve ever done that I’m never guilty of is the lie that I had feelings for them. Ha ha! I’m a professional actress by nature. Most guys fall for my emotional acts, for the tears I faked before I would have to leave, for my big brown puppy eyes I was naturally blessed with that tickles their poor hearts. I ain’t sorry for them, I will never ever be. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate them, neither do I generalize men as playboys and idiots. Most of them are but I also would like to believe that there could be some who are decent enough to be loved. It’s just that, I don’t like the idea of it, of love that is. Of what the books have presented me, of what fairy tales have fooled me when I was little. Perhaps it’s not only that I don’t like it, I guess it’s merely because I haven’t really felt it. Sometimes I wonder if it’s really kind and if it’s really patient, I wonder if it’s truly powerful.

Last night, I met this guy by the name of Robbie that I slept with almost a couple of weeks ago when I was in New York. I moved in to San Francisco now and I was surprised to see him seemingly lurking around the dark flashy bar I was in. I had a feeling he was there to see me but I brushed off that thought in me. When I see no signs of him, I hastily made my way out of the place and waved for a taxi. Just by the time I opened the cab door, he abruptly appeared out of nowhere and strongly grabbed me by the arm and apologized to the driver then shoo him away. I get off of his hand that was somehow stuck into my arm then looked at him puzzlingly.

He gestured me to follow him and we sat to the bench near the colorful fountain by the park. His dominance honestly turns me on but his silence irritates me so I broke it in a very calm way.

“What do you want?”

“Nothing. Or maybe something.”

“Huh. What is it?”

“I lied to you.”

“About what?”

“I ain’t married.”

“So?”

“And you’re the first woman I ever slept with”

My mouth slightly opened with this surprising news but I still managed to maintain a poker face. I pretended I didn’t care and said,

“So?”

“I always see you there, in this bar in New York. I chatted with the bearded bartender once when you weren’t around and I asked about you. He told me this gossip that you only sleep with married men and bad boys, so I decided to pretend like one, I even wore a fake ring to make it look real. I had to do that so I could get closer to you, so I could ascertain what I feel for you.”

“Haha nice story. Go on.”

“The first time I saw you was one Tuesday evening, 11th of November. You were wearing that shiny silver plunging dress. I thought you were really gorgeous, like what everyone else thought in that place. But I didn’t want to sleep with you when I saw you that night. I just enjoyed watching you giggle with the guys you were flirting with, I even daydreamed of stealing you from them and talking to you alone by the beach. I went home with a huge smile on my face and it remained in there everytime you cross my mind. I don’t know what this is, but I’m certain that it’s not merely sex that I want from you.”

I suddenly felt a pinch in my soul, not because I believed him, but because for the first time ever, it sounded so real. I have somehow memorized how the bad guys behave, thus his actions are quite foreign to me. If he is not a bad guy, nor a married man, then what is he? A nice guy? Oh no. This ain’t possible. I’ve just broken the code of promise I made to myself.

I didn’t know what to say so I waited til he say something again.

“I’m not expecting you to believe me, but can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“Would you allow me to prove to you my pure intentions?”

“No. I’m sorry. But if you want, we can go to your place and have a really nice sex. But after that, you can’t see me again.”

I said it in a usual tone of voice of the Ash that I really am—the Ash that breaks men’s hearts. But for the first time in my life, I kind of regretted that I said those words to him.

“I’m sorry I can’t do that.”

“What is? The sex or the idea of not seeing me again?”

“Both. I’ll see you again soon and will ask you the same question over and over again until you say yes to it.”

He uttered calmly as he stood up from the bench and said goodbye. I contemplated about stopping him and following him but I stayed as composed as ever. I glued my eyes to him as he walk away from me, leaving me perplexed with the last words he just said. I never liked a good guy. And a good guy never liked my bold and liberating way of life. That’s ridiculous. What am I supposed to do with this?

#fiction

(This is in connection to my previous post A Psychoweirdo so I hope you read that one too. Thank you!)

A Psychoweirdo

Ash is a sucker for the bad guys.

She paradoxically falls quick into their traps yet she loves it.

Because then she could also lure them to want her more, so she can jail their hearts in her spell and make them think she’s vulnerable, without knowing they’re the ones being poisoned with her seducing soul.

She enjoys the idea of hanging on the edge of the unknown with no label.

She prefers being involved in a married man—she likes the thought of wrecking homes, of breaking them wives’ hearts.

She knows it’s insanely peculiar but she finds so much fun with it.

She’s not fond of commitment, not even a believer of love.

She’s been living all by herself now for 15 years, after being abandoned by her biological parents and after she escaped from the foster parents she truly detested when she was 12.

Since then she has lived on her own.

Playing around her boys in every city she gets to live in.

Ash needs to move from one place to another, maximum of three months per state or country, so all her illegal hacking jobs won’t be busted and most importantly… so that she can search for new fresh meats of different race and color.

She’s highly independent that being with someone longer than two months is a big No-No!

She couldn’t take it, she rapidly gets sick of one and move on to the next.

Her attention span with these guys is really short despite the fact that it makes her happy.

Yes, the bad guys make her happy, especially if the sex is good.

She can make them go wild and crazy.

She has this innate charm that makes her irresistible. Her tattooless body says it all.

But once she’s done with it, once she has shattered their lives, it makes her way happier.

Ash is disturbingly crazy, she’s completely aware of it, but she didn’t bother changing her views just to be accepted by the world.

She doesn’t like to live normally, never a fan of rules.

She has never abided in anything but her own dirty strange urges to get touched by a variety of bad guys and to smash their hearts with her invisible evil strength.

#totallyfiction

(Photo credit to the owner)