This time it’s a true story

cropped-applesweden1.jpg

My heart overflows with so much gratitude for all the blessings I’ve been receiving. I reckon sometimes prayers aren’t enough to let Him know how much I appreciate what He’s done for me that’s why I also write it down just like what I am doing today.

This story isn’t fiction anymore. It’s about me—a simple girl raised by two ordinary people who fought for love but isn’t wise enough to fight for their dreams. Thus, I wasn’t born with a silver spoon and I haven’t really gotten the things I wanted when I was growing up because my parents couldn’t afford it. I used to question the idea of it—on why I had to experience a life of less instead of more, a life of few instead of many. After so many years, God showed me the answer. He said he showed me the darkness so I could appreciate the light. He gave me sorrow so I could cherish each happy times. He allowed me to be poor so I can use the skills and traits he has lent me to work hard to be on top.

Whenever I look back at this humble truth, I couldn’t help but to feel so amazed with how God can truly make the seemed to be impossible, possible. I will always look back because it makes me feel thankful that the once underprivileged girl in me has now fulfilled almost everything she ever wants. And this I owe to God. I’m no billionaire and I’m not even close, but the contentment I feel with what I have makes me feel like one. It’s not entirely about the money or car or signature things that makes me overjoyed, it is primarily the blessing of love and family and friends and career and freedom that makes me feel grateful once and for all.

I share to you a tiny part of my life to urge you to look at things at a colorful perspective, to look at the rainbow—as how the tagline of my blog portray. A rainbow that brights up our day once the rain has stopped to play. I am blessed and you are too. We have to be reminded that God will always provide us what we need, more than what we ask for, more than what we think is right for us, even before we could even say what we want ’cause He knows what’s on our mind. Listen closely to your heart because that’s where He talks to us. We just need to follow the road He has set for us and live the life he gave us in the most meaningful way possible. Learn to give and share as abundant as how God showered you with so much blessings. It is through giving that you also get to showcase your gratitude for the quality of life you possess. That’s why I will never ever get tired of giving in my own little way, and I hope you too. 🙂

(Note: I normally feel unease talking about my deepest thoughts, that’s why most of my posts are fiction, due to the fear of judgment. This is a brave move for me to publish what I truly feel at the moment. I hope you enjoy reading this one. Thank you!)

#truestory 

Numbers don’t lie

“You can’t have a million-dollar dream with a minimum-wage work ethic.”

-Stephen C. Hogan

This line has been stuck in my head when the speaker from our meeting yesterday flashed this in her PowerPoint presentation. I decided to write about this idea to reiterate the value of Work Ethic, and how does it affect not only the digits in your bank account but most significantly the quality of life that you live.

I’m a huge believer of numbers. Being in sales for nearly 7 years, I have relied on logical computation on achieving what I want. I’ve never enjoyed the idea of being a regular employee (that’s why I’ve never been one), wherein the paycheck depends on the hours you spend on your office and not by the amount of hard work you put in. At some point I find this idea a little unfair to those who work harder but gets the same salary as the ones who don’t. I have nothing against employees though, because I know some people who are happy to be one. This is speaking from my own experience, my own belief system that the idea of the Law of Averages has not only made me earn more than average at the age of 26, but also improved the quality of my life in general. It has polished in a way that I’ve developed a great work ethic that has now become a habit. Truth be told that I’m not normally the most skillful in the room, neither the most talented but I can confidently say that I can fill in those loop holes by working on my numbers. I prefer working hard over working smart, above all means.

Numbers, however, is truly not the sole component of success, but if you can master it, you’re on your way to achieving whatever it is that you want. It’s a formula that anyone can use regardless of how good you are at something. When you increase your numbers, whether in terms of the number of hours you spend on your career or on writing in your blog, or on studying something that interests you, you will see a massive and positive change on the results of it. If you double your effort, or at least do that extra 1%, the repercussion will mirror what you have exerted at a certain time only fate or God could tell. The fruits of your hardwork has their own perfect timing. If you’re working way above mediocre level today and not reaping the benefits yet, you have to instill in your mind that you must be patient. Patience is a virtue anyway, yes?

In addition to that, there is no way you you would ever miss a target if you religiously follow your hitrate. Hitrate is your personal ratio that is computed based on your skill level. As a Financial Wealth Adviser, my hit rate started at 10:1, that now has upgraded over the years to 3:1. This means that for me to be able to close a deal back then, I need to be able to present to 10 clients before I can get a successful YES. In terms of blogging, this post will be my 19th, with (only) 104 followers so far, on my 3rd week since I put this up. This means that for each daily post, I get to have roughly 5 followers, hence my hit rate on increasing the number of followers based on each published post is 1:5. Now I guess I have to write twice daily so I can have 10 new followers per day, hmm. What do you think? Hihi. 🙂

Anywho, numbers don’t lie. When you look at yourself and you’re not happy with where you are right now, odds are you didn’t apply a certain amount of work ethic for each of your goals. So let me end this post with how I started it—Your dream, that doesn’t necessarily have to be a million dollar, will be fulfilled if you add an amazing work ethic on your belief system and act on it whilst you can. Success is not a sprint after all that you have to acquire the speed of Usain Bolt just to get it. And you can’t use a shortcut to success in exchange for a short term happiness with a long term catastrophe. The idea is to enjoy the process on achieving it, heedless of the time, because the destination will surely be there at the end of the tunnel. Have fun in the process of working hard, learn from each hurdles along the way and soon enough you will reap all the benefits of your above average, multi-millionaire level of work ethic.

The Overthinkers

“Did you message her yet?”

“Yes, 2 days ago I did.”

“Then?”

“Obviously she ignored me.”

“Tss. What did you tell her?”

“I said Hi and I told her I find her hot.”

“Whuat?! Are you out of your mind?”

“Nooo, what’s wrong with that? I was just being honest.”

“Dude, she’s a one decent fine woman.. and you told her that she’s HOT???”

“Yea, isn’t she?”

“She is, but man.. You should have used a much better adjective to describe her.”

“Like?”

“Like, the clichéd ones: beautiful, gorgeous, amazing or pretty.”

“But like you said, those are clichés, isn’t that going to sound boring?”

“I mean yes but that’s way better than to sound like a perv.”

“Jeez, you have a point. I shouldn’t have said that. But anywho, how about you? How was your date last night?”

“Yea you’re an idiot. Hmm, well it was okay.”

“Okay? Not great or even good?”

“Ugh, she’s okay but she’s a gemini.”

“A gemini? Haha! So?”

“It’s possible that she has a dual personality, you know.”

“Are you serious? Lol. I didn’t know you’re into Astrology.”

“Well I’ve been reading some lately but anyway it’s not solely about her sign.”

“You ridiculous. So what’s the catch?”

“The thing is, she never had a boyfriend yet, ever.”

“Oh, isn’t that a good thing?”

“It could be. But she doesn’t have any experiences in romantic relationships yet. That means I’m going to teach her everything, that’s tedious, man!”

“I can’t believe you. That’s lame.”

“Tss. Plus, she loves kids. She told me she wishes to have kids before she reach 24. And she’s 20. Isn’t that scary?”

“Oh no, that’s a red flag!”

“Exactly. But she’s so attractive, ugh. Have you seen the latest picture she just posted on Instagram?”

“Oh hell yea, she looks flawless on that pic.”

“I know, but she loves the filters.”

“Lol, how did you know?”

“Last night she spent almost half an hour editing her selfie, she’s even asking me which filter looks best on her.”

“No way. I hope girls know that being natural and filter free or a no make-up kind is the bomb!”

“Absolutely! I don’t even understand why they have to cover their true beauty behind those thick foundations.”

“Me too. So you’re not going to see her again?”

“I’m indecisive. But maybe. We’ll see.”

(Photo credit to the real owner)

Thank you, Facebook.

I set the alarm at 4:30am tomorrow and decided that I’m going to sleep early today but my brain can’t seem to shut down—vividly rewinding all the events of this day, contemplating about the things I’m supposed to do tomorrow, carefully calculating the targets I have to hit, worried about the book I have to finish, counting the clients I have to call and thinking about our good old memories—I have more to add but you don’t care anyway so I wouldn’t jot them all down no more. My point is, I feel so restless for the hectic list of to-do’s that keep on flashing in my head it’s making me so anxious because I just f—ckn wanna go to sleep but I caaaaannn’t, UGH!!! Have you ever felt this way too? I reckon you do. So what do you normally do when you can’t sleep?

Facebook?

Hmm. No. This ain’t right.

He cheated on me, I should stop stalking him.

Yes. It’s been three weeks since.

I couldn’t focus because of this urge again. To view his profile. To stare endlessly at his solo photos and them ones with her. To crush my heart with my own hands. To kill my soul with the growing jealousy in me. It has grown so much it agonises my poor self. But i loved it—the torture I bestowed upon myself like an honor of excellence awarded to me. I get so damn hurt but at least I get to see him, you know? It’s a rewarding torture after all.

I picked up the laptop lying on top my bedside table and pursued the calling to open Facebook. So I logged in. In two seconds the news feed blatantly presented his newly posted picture two hours ago. Wow, facebook! You didn’t even give me a chance to hesitate to type his name on the search box!

Sigh.

I felt a sudden pinch in my heart it kinda burns. I stared at the photo he posted for like a minute, with the caption that says: “With my gorgeous princess.” 

Wow. He used to call me his princess back then. Ha ha! He didn’t even bother changing it! Brilliant! Then, I clicked on the comments below and a lot of people are congratulating them—telling them the they-look-good-together lie, and there’s this one girl by the name of Jane Lee who left a comment that I even had to zoom in to ascertain the exact words my eyes had just read…

“He used to call me his princess too, don’t fall on that trap.” 

I’m like WTFFFFFF!!!!!

I don’t know what to feel. Each word from that random comment stunned me it goes deep within my veins, my blood couldn’t even flow anymore—I think it’s stopped. My heart is now beatless, lifeless. He didn’t just cheat on me alone, he cheated on me and Jane and even on that foolish girl on the picture he just posted. What an a*shole!!!!

I couldn’t contain the unidentified emotion I am feeling right now so I slammed the laptop close and zoned out for like two minutes with my mouth open and my eyes that suddenly forgot to blink.

The love I thought I still have for him instantly vanished like a bubble. This unidentified peculiar kind of emotion replaced the crazy kind of love I initially had for him. It’s that inexplicably odd feeling that makes you numb from the weird mix of love and hatred and anger and regret that is at some point a sense of freedom. I am now free from the trap, from his trap.

I smiled nonchalantly like some sort of an invisible thorn was taken away from my flesh. It’s still bleeding but it feels lighter. There’s a visible wound, but it’s going to heal soon, I am sure of that.

If not with the urge to stalk him again through Facebook, I wouldn’t be utterly awaken from this nightmare. If there’s one thing I learned from this experience tonight, it is the idea of spoiling yourself, albeit knowing it’s bad for you and expecting a certain punishment that will add up to your list of experiences from which you learn from—hence you grow and become wiser. This moral lesson (lol) abruptly just cleared my head, released all them worries free, thus now I think I’m ready for a goodnight sleep.

#fiction

(Photo credit to the owner)

My #500km2018challenge

This is the very first time I’m going to disclose something about myself. Most of my recent posts are fiction and a few commented on my short stories asking if those were my stories. So I decided to write something that will give you a hint of my complex self. My story—just one story though, no big deal.

I’m going to talk about my obsession for running and my goal for this year. I say obsession, like my constant longing for sweets, because I keep coming back to it—despite the unbearable physical pain (at times) as an effect of overdosed running 😂

Since most of it is off record, I decided to track the number of kilometers I want to accomplish using this amazing app called Strava. It’s hashtag 500km2018challenge, #40kmpermonth #10kmperweek. Is this even achievable?

(Note: We use km rather than miles in the Philippines)<<<<
like any goal you set, if you start with the right mindset, there's no way you wouldn't achieve it. I see you rolling your eyes now for this cliché but I'll say it anyway—A right mindset comes from the inside out and not the other way around. Yup, it's about the favorite three-letter-word of Simon Sinek, Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy or even Steve Jobs and them most influential motivational speakers you've heard—it's the WHY. Why did you set that goal in the first place? If you have a concrete answer to this, you’re now done with the first step.

<<<<
ated this fitness goal basically for both health and physical improvement. It's important for me to maintain a firm body now that my metabolism starts to slow down cos yup, I'm getting older 😅 My sugar level elevates from time to time as well so I need to burn them to death.

Second, slice your goal into small pieces so the whole pie you have to consume won't look like a tough job.

I divided the 500km to 12 months and that gives me 41.66—i rounded it off to 40km, then 10km per week. Now the goal looks more achievable from this perspective, doesn't it?

(I did 11.4km for this week, exceeding my target of #10kmperweek) Third, reward yourself. No more illuminating on this one because apart from your answer to the why you set this goal, you should not be hard on yourself too. I’d treat myself a dessert every month once the #40kmpermonth is accomplished.

(My boyfriend designed this cute voucher so I have something to look forward to every month.) Once I’m done with the #500km2018challenge, I’ll buy myself a ticket to Seoul because I really want to go back there. I usually get to travel abroad due to company’s incentive but this time it’s going to be my Solo Trip to Seoul all expense paid by me 💁🏼‍♀️ Yay!

Lastly, write your goals down and if you can, post it in your wall. (This is apparently not new to you but I’m talking about myself anyway so 🤷🏻‍♀️) This visual reminder will keep you on track. Been doing this for quite some time now and i reckon it has been effective 👌🏻

(Please don’t mind the scratches and the other goals above. But notice that i prefer the verb to be in present tense just to highlight that I’m ACTUALLY “doing it”, not “will do it” not “have done it” yet.)
Now that I’ve
s particular goal for the year, there will be no excuses smooches. It’s going to be embarrassing if I didn’t hit it so this is absolutely non-negotiable. Talking about your goals will give you more confidence and it gives you the energy to attract the universe to help you reach it. Talk about it in the most modest way possible.

PS. Remember, when you publicize your goal, do it for yourself and not to please others. If by chance you didn’t hit it it’s okay—you can revise and reset it anytime you want. 😉  

This is why you should write daily

It all started when I was around six years old. I used to write crappy stories in a piece of paper which I often fold horizontally into two so it could have like a cover where the title is shown with some ridiculously kiddie drawing below. Stories like the “princess and the mouse”, “the dog and cat who always fight” and a lot more funny titles to name. It was just a hobby, really. Until I learned how to create a diary where I would religiously share almost everything that happened in my life every single day. For 12 years now, I still maintain a journal with me- apart from this blog, just to share my thoughts and feelings daily. It was a hobby turned into a habit, a habit turned into zeal.

How do you feel everytime you get to write something? It makes you feel some sense of relief, right? Just like opening up to a friend, writing whatever it is in your mind will make you feel lighter. Whether you write for a living or it’s literally just a hobby, writing things down is very beneficial to you. I don’t know about you but each time I get to write something, there were positive signals being sent to my brain that’s pushing me to feel great. You don’t really have to be the best writer, neither your writing  has to be grammatically perfect nor it has rules that you have to abide. All you need to do is to be completely honest with yourself—understand your current state of mind whilst juggling words that would eventually create an idea.

If you feel happy today, write it down! If you experience some sort of pain and it bothers you, write it down! If you know something that you want other people to learn about, write it down and post it. Writing everything down is like having a voice without a sound but you know what? It ironically impacts the loudest.

According to dailyinfographic.com, when you are writing things down, you are stimulating a collection of cells in the base of your brain known as the Reticular Activating System. The RAS is the filter of all the information your brain needs to process and it gives more attention to what you are currently focusing on. The physical act of writing brings the information to the forefront and triggers your brain to pay close attention. Thus, writing things down help us remember more. They also believe that writing serves as a calming and meditative tool and has been identified as a helpful stress coping method.

It’s through writing that you will get to create a message that you never thought you’d be able to send. It doesn’t matter if as of today no one follows you neither if someone reads your content. The idea of writing is to initially do it for yourself. If you’re doing it to be of service to people or to reach a certain number of followers and not a lot of readers have heard you yet, don’t lose hope. Just friggin’ write every waking day of your life.

Don’t think about what other people’s judgment will be. As clichéd as it may seem, but just do it. Nevertheless, don’t mind the clichés experts say you need to avoid so that people would read your content. Keep on writing and do not stop. Don’t let overthinking ruin your chances of forming a bright idea. Treat your brain—get a pen and paper or a laptop or a even just your phone, NOW. Write them thoughts down to relieve that stress inside you and you will see a better version of yourself, after creating a habit of writing daily. Happy writing!