Single forever

Carmelita is a 68 year old chinese woman who lived in Manila most of her life. She’s multilingual (English, Chinese & Tagalog) and was raised by her Chinese parents who used to operate a huge plantation of crops in Malaysia that is up and running until today despite his father’s death at year 2000 due to old age. Her mother died at age 48 due to Cancer and being the eldest among the five siblings, she took most of the responsibility in their family business and managed her father’s business affairs most especially the financial aspects because her father couldn’t speak the local language in Manila. To keep her background story short, Ma’am Mely (as how I address her) dedicated her whole life helping his father—took care of him when he was sick, looked after her younger siblings and decided to stay single forever. I asked her if there’s someone who tried to be with her and she answered me with a big YES and a wide smile in her face but her eyes were filled with regret. She told me there was a lawyer and an accountant who tried to win her heart but she gave me this apparent excuse that she was scared that they would not accept her for who she is, that maybe they would just get “turned off” by her, that she’s worried she’s too old for it because she was around 40 years old when they came. She then accepted her fate since. She decided she would stay single forever because she initially thought it’s okay, that she’s going to be okay alone.

When his father died and all her siblings got married, the pain of her decision commenced to become more intense, more intolerable, more obvious than it used to be. She opened up honestly how lonely she is and how hard it is to live alone. Whenever she got sick and the driver is not around, she would take her jacket and walk to the drugstore a mile away from where she lives, so she could buy herself a medicine, because no one else could do it for her. Although her siblings have often asked her to just live with them, she kept on refusing them because she feels like she’s going to be just a burden to them and admitted to me that she thinks it’s more painful to see them having a family of their own and feel sorry for herself for the decision she made for her life. She’s been living alone in that old gloomy house for almost 20 years and I felt the pain it has caused her. She told me she likes me so much that she wishes I am her daughter and she sincerely appreciate the time I gave her—because she said she badly needed someone to talk to. She kept on thanking me for listening to her repetitive story and apologized for it. I told her she shouldn’t apologize for it because I did enjoy the time I spent with her.

“Please don’t leave him because you’re very lucky you have someone to grow old with.” She said after we hugged before I had to leave for another client visit. Whilst I was driving away, I looked in my rear view mirror and I saw her waving goodbye like a mother who had to see her child leave because the school bus is already there. I felt deep within me that she wanted to be a mother, to be a wife, to have a family of her own. I have met several old maid well off clients but she was the only one who unhesitatingly confessed the unpleasant repercussion of living alone for the rest of her life. Perhaps not all them old maid feels the same way as Mely, but I’m certain that in one way or another, those people who chose to be single forever, felt lonely too.

I had to write about her story without her consent neither to announce the pity I have for her nor to make it look like staying single is bad. I wrote this so you could realize how blessed you are right now. If you have a family of your own or if you have someone who loves you and is willing to share his/her life with you, do not hesitate and stop overthinking about the negative sides of marriage or of having children—because I’m telling you, it’s better to endure the pain of getting hurt due to a quarrel or sleepless nights ’cause of your crying baby than the pain of living all by yourself. As the old clichéd saying proves: “No man is an island” and I couldn’t agree more to it.

I wish you start looking at your partner as a gift because perhaps not everyone is blessed to have met someone to love. You are loved and you have someone to kiss and hug, someone to share your thoughts with, someone to laugh with using a secret language only you two can understand, thus I hope you don’t take it for granted. Being single forever is a choice—but I wish you do something about it before you run out of time.

Start the year right

Goals, i have relied on you my entire life for the most part. You are the guide God has taught me to create, like a map of several destinations, the pathway to utter happiness. I have accomplished a lot of you last year and I am confident that this year is going to be a year of more positive changes and an enormous sums of achievements. I am not, however, a follower of new year’s resolutions because it doesn’t have any strong impact on me. But specific goals exhilarate me to enjoy the process of living and allow me to look forward to brighter things ahead.

Creating this blog has always been one of my goals since the time i found love in writing. But I wasn’t confident enough to publish my works for the past years that I’ve always second-guessed the idea of it thus I ended up procrastinating and absolutely not making it happen. But today feels so much different. I woke up this morning with a tagline that keeps flashing in my head—START THE YEAR RIGHT. It really appeared in bold letters as if it was emphasizing its importance, that it has to be seriously acknowledged. And so I did not ignore it this time—my heart has its way of communicating with me through my peculiar sets of imaginations and a universal language that needs a little of decoding to understand. Starting the year right is an intense message to persuade you to do something you love that you keep on setting aside because of your excuses. It could also mean that you should start this year with a new powerful habit as a replacement from the ugly old one. I’d like to believe that starting this blog is a perfect way to help me practice the passion I have for writing and help me execute my goal in provoking ideas all over the world.

I honestly think that through this, I’d be able to make a difference like who knows? It may sound absurd but if I get to help people know how to set goals properly and how to achieve them, how to have the right mindset and how to have the perfect attitude towards life, that’s already making a difference, isn’t it? Just like what Steve Jobs has said: “…because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world… are the ones who do.”To think differently—this is what this blog aims for you to do. To be brave enough to take the road that are less traveled. To help you unlock your true self  without seeking the approval of others. The ultimate goal is to create a message that could inspire readers to live life at its fullest. To make you realize the true beauty of life by changing the way you look at it, one step at a time.

I am merely thrilled to share with you every chapter of my 2018 stories that will hopefully provoke some meaningful ideas within you. I am also excited to hit more goals, to meet more people, to see more places and to touch more lives this year.

A colorful and bountiful 2018—I am looking forward to you.