This time it’s a true story

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My heart overflows with so much gratitude for all the blessings I’ve been receiving. I reckon sometimes prayers aren’t enough to let Him know how much I appreciate what He’s done for me that’s why I also write it down just like what I am doing today.

This story isn’t fiction anymore. It’s about me—a simple girl raised by two ordinary people who fought for love but isn’t wise enough to fight for their dreams. Thus, I wasn’t born with a silver spoon and I haven’t really gotten the things I wanted when I was growing up because my parents couldn’t afford it. I used to question the idea of it—on why I had to experience a life of less instead of more, a life of few instead of many. After so many years, God showed me the answer. He said he showed me the darkness so I could appreciate the light. He gave me sorrow so I could cherish each happy times. He allowed me to be poor so I can use the skills and traits he has lent me to work hard to be on top.

Whenever I look back at this humble truth, I couldn’t help but to feel so amazed with how God can truly make the seemed to be impossible, possible. I will always look back because it makes me feel thankful that the once underprivileged girl in me has now fulfilled almost everything she ever wants. And this I owe to God. I’m no billionaire and I’m not even close, but the contentment I feel with what I have makes me feel like one. It’s not entirely about the money or car or signature things that makes me overjoyed, it is primarily the blessing of love and family and friends and career and freedom that makes me feel grateful once and for all.

I share to you a tiny part of my life to urge you to look at things at a colorful perspective, to look at the rainbow—as how the tagline of my blog portray. A rainbow that brights up our day once the rain has stopped to play. I am blessed and you are too. We have to be reminded that God will always provide us what we need, more than what we ask for, more than what we think is right for us, even before we could even say what we want ’cause He knows what’s on our mind. Listen closely to your heart because that’s where He talks to us. We just need to follow the road He has set for us and live the life he gave us in the most meaningful way possible. Learn to give and share as abundant as how God showered you with so much blessings. It is through giving that you also get to showcase your gratitude for the quality of life you possess. That’s why I will never ever get tired of giving in my own little way, and I hope you too. 🙂

(Note: I normally feel unease talking about my deepest thoughts, that’s why most of my posts are fiction, due to the fear of judgment. This is a brave move for me to publish what I truly feel at the moment. I hope you enjoy reading this one. Thank you!)

#truestory 

Fresh eyes (Part 1)

This is the most nerve-racking moment in her life. By the time she woke up, she felt like she slept in a pond of sweat. She hurriedly wiped it with her bare hands as soon as she saw a seemed-like-a-slow-mo drop of it from her chin down to her lap. She suddenly panicked so she rapidly got up from her tangled bed, threw away her blanket and ran towards the mirror. She was startled to see her reflection but at the same time she felt some sense of relief. She looked normal, no bruises, no wounds, no blood.

“It was just a dream, Amma, ok? It will never come to life.” She said to herself whilst zooming herself in and out, looking for some sort of physical damages, examining her face and her body in the mirror. She tried to lift herself up with those words of affirmation but she’s utterly aware of a familiar scary possibility.

It all started when she was 16. Amma lost her parents due to the famous 2011 suicide plane bombing.She has a 10 year old sister, at that time, named Emma, who just turned 17 last December. It’s been exactly seven years since they passed away but the effect of this tragic event is still fresh in her memory. That was also the time she realized her gift that she sometimes refer to as a curse—because Amma can’t help but to blame herself, she thought she could have used her gift to warn her parents about what she has seen in her dreams. She could have went there and informed everyone she knew what’s going to happen, heedless of  whether they believe her or not—she could have saved her parents and 100 more innocent lives. But she didn’t. For she knows it’s absurd to believe that she could see the future through her dreams.

The premonitons that show up when she’s asleep are not usually bad dreams per se. Oft times it’s good and funny and sexy but last night’s dream was intensely terrifying. In this dream, Amma saw herself drunk driving, on her way home, with an unknown guy in the passenger seat who was laughing crazily, a bottle of Nils Oscar beer in his right hand, his left on her hips and as he was about to kiss her, she saw a silhouette of a man who’s about to cross the street, so she quickly turned the steering wheel to her right, unable to anticipate the ten-wheeler truck coming in the same lane she’s in. The unknown guy shouted at her, Watch out!, but Amma recklessly lost control and then BAAAM!

To be continued…

(Photo credit to the owner)