My semantic musings about light and darkness

We hear of it like a clichéd lexicon of the norm but what do we really know about it? What do you really know about darkness and the lightness of the weight of it?

How light, how peaceful, how religiously liberating to get in touch with the darkest parts of you that you were ignoring—out of fear of being unaccepted, out of fear of being judged. I go out there, out in the world with so much darkness i never deny of me. It allows my spirit to run freely, with no inhibitions, with no faking. And you know what? It’s intoxicating. Exciting. Full of spice. Full of depths that know its own desires. My desires are not purely angelic. Mostly aren’t.

And whenever i get in touch with this certain form of darkness, it gives me some sense of satisfaction. Like closing one’s eyes when you reach an orgasm—seeing nothing but feeling so much of a feeling you would always want to feel should you be allowed to. Correct? And metaphorically speaking, that’s how light it is to see nothing in the dark but feeling so connected to who you truly are. Do you know what i mean?

I used orgasm as an example (to align it with the darkness enveloped herein) but i know you know what i mean. I know you know that you, not embracing the darkest sides of who you are, actually prevents you from being authentic. And when you’re not being authentic, when you’re not being yourself, are you happy? Are you living a life you chose for yourself or someone else’s chose that for you? Are you stepping into the kind of man or woman of worth despite the fact that people around you judge you based on what they see wrong about you? Or up until now you’re still hiding behind your own shadow because you’re too afraid to be seen as someone people expect you shouldn’t be? And yes that’s the sad reality—culture and tradition has shaped the earlier generations with beliefs that we should act and behave a certain way that sometimes kills our insides because fck tradition, that’s not who you wanna be, right?

And everything is changing now. In fact, it’s transmuting into something more vibrant and more colorful than how we were. And if the world is now growing faster than ever before, have you checked on how much progress you have made? If you’re not progressing, you will feel stuck, thus, you won’t be happy. And this random musings about darkness and light is an invitation for you, to step into the light you can only find when you courageously stepped into the dark. Please, stop being apologetic for the way you behave. Stop pleasing people. Unfake the faking and start getting real with your real self.

You’re welcome.

Sheer suffering

The ache deepens as I was having a tour of our old photos again,

I could hardly breathe, my heart seemed like being punched by a giant’s fist.

I shed tears as I cogitate the why’s of your unforeseen evanescence.

How could we end up as terrible as this?

How could you just let go of the dreams we vowed to achieve?

You left me hanging like a cat of multiple lives who was born again after a cataclysmic death—in this new life, there’s but no more of you.

Tell me, is there something I should have done to prolong the pages of our story?

(Photo credit to the owner)

The Overthinkers

“Did you message her yet?”

“Yes, 2 days ago I did.”

“Then?”

“Obviously she ignored me.”

“Tss. What did you tell her?”

“I said Hi and I told her I find her hot.”

“Whuat?! Are you out of your mind?”

“Nooo, what’s wrong with that? I was just being honest.”

“Dude, she’s a one decent fine woman.. and you told her that she’s HOT???”

“Yea, isn’t she?”

“She is, but man.. You should have used a much better adjective to describe her.”

“Like?”

“Like, the clichéd ones: beautiful, gorgeous, amazing or pretty.”

“But like you said, those are clichés, isn’t that going to sound boring?”

“I mean yes but that’s way better than to sound like a perv.”

“Jeez, you have a point. I shouldn’t have said that. But anywho, how about you? How was your date last night?”

“Yea you’re an idiot. Hmm, well it was okay.”

“Okay? Not great or even good?”

“Ugh, she’s okay but she’s a gemini.”

“A gemini? Haha! So?”

“It’s possible that she has a dual personality, you know.”

“Are you serious? Lol. I didn’t know you’re into Astrology.”

“Well I’ve been reading some lately but anyway it’s not solely about her sign.”

“You ridiculous. So what’s the catch?”

“The thing is, she never had a boyfriend yet, ever.”

“Oh, isn’t that a good thing?”

“It could be. But she doesn’t have any experiences in romantic relationships yet. That means I’m going to teach her everything, that’s tedious, man!”

“I can’t believe you. That’s lame.”

“Tss. Plus, she loves kids. She told me she wishes to have kids before she reach 24. And she’s 20. Isn’t that scary?”

“Oh no, that’s a red flag!”

“Exactly. But she’s so attractive, ugh. Have you seen the latest picture she just posted on Instagram?”

“Oh hell yea, she looks flawless on that pic.”

“I know, but she loves the filters.”

“Lol, how did you know?”

“Last night she spent almost half an hour editing her selfie, she’s even asking me which filter looks best on her.”

“No way. I hope girls know that being natural and filter free or a no make-up kind is the bomb!”

“Absolutely! I don’t even understand why they have to cover their true beauty behind those thick foundations.”

“Me too. So you’re not going to see her again?”

“I’m indecisive. But maybe. We’ll see.”

(Photo credit to the real owner)