The Dreamy-eyed Idealist

She failed but she never gave up. She fell too many times but stood back up again. And then she kept on walking. She walked and walked albeit rather slowly, so she can enjoy the beauty amid the world she’s in. She sees the world as a trail full of colors, when the rest only sees black and white.

She believes in Magic, hence people laugh at her. They think it’s ridiculous to believe in such crazy idea. And she heard them, but she never let it all in. She knew that Magic only happens to those who greatly believe, and to those who act upon their dreams.

She stopped. She ceased from walking not to rest, but to meet people. She met foreign ones and listened to their stories. She kept on listening to so many voices from different backgrounds, hence she grew and grew better.

She spoke. She talked about her dreams and her goals. Some were bitter, but most of them are in awe. She’s idealistically dreamy—never cared about the norm.

She then reached it..

And did it all over again.

The little boy

The day passed by in a snap, gone instantly like a bubble, I was too oblivious to the breeze of time. I looked up at Mr. Clock, hanging at my pure white wall, saying it’s now 15 mins past 10 in the evening and I forgot to have dinner! I’m on a lean diet though so I shrugged but then I realized I haven’t had lunch too, occupied with work and the book I was reading. Wearing my sweat pants and comfy white shirt (my favorite), I grabbed my car keys in a haste to go on a drive thru in McDonald’s for some nuggets and fries. Oh well, shit day! I mean, cheat day!

Then this happened:

I was driving at 60, traffic is not too bad, when a shirtless little boy with a belly that is somewhat bigger than his head, probably around 4 or 5 years old, I couldn’t really ascertain, suddenly crossed the road I have nearly killled him! Thank God for my quick reflex and clear eye sight I have rapidly pressed the brake and that saved me from being a criminal. My adrenaline levels are so high I was so sure of it but at that very moment, I freezed and almost forgot to blink—I didn’t know what to do. My hands became sweaty, glued to the steering wheel, never want to let go. But i had to let go and get out. As soon as I did, I saw the little boy’s parents; his mother was scolding him while he shrieks, and his father, apologising to me.

“Is he alright?” The only three words my mouth could release.

“Yes, Ma’am.” The father replied.

I was shocked with what happened, like who wouldn’t? My body turned a little numb due to some thoughts appearing in my head: a boy that’s hurt, seeing him covered with blood and most probably… lifeless. Thoughts that have made me feel like I have stolen his chance to see the beauty of life, that feeling that I have taken away a life of an innocent being. Almost. But I didn’t. So I went back to my senses and talked to them. The father said they live under the bridge, just across the road where I almost hit his 8th child. They have nine children and they’re expecting the 10th, his wife due in three months. This is not like something new to my ears and my eyes (because homeless large families are common in the Philippines) but there was a deep pinch in my heart that came maybe from the sincerity of his voice as he speaks, and the laugh and giggles from the rest of the kids, enjoying themselves—despite the fact that they haven’t eaten, like I. But unlike me, they don’t have enough to buy for what they need. Hence I brought them to Mcdonalds a few meters from the road where we talked and gave the father a 500 peso bill before we parted ways. It felt right, although I know it wasn’t right—giving a man a fish instead of teaching him how to fish, ain’t that how the saying goes? But how can you lecture someone to work hard if he can’t even read or write, and is only limited to special skills of making tons of babies? Sigh. I wish it’s not like this but this is a freakin’ face of reality.

A few nights later, when I was driving again on the same road, I saw a red sedan, surrounded by a handful of people, a few feet away from the spot where I almost hit the little boy. I pulled over to check what’s going on and there I found the same family I encountered last night, looking naive and innocent, and the “almost victim” this time was their 7th child, a couple of years older than the one who performed the same act the other night.



(Photo courtesy of Google)

Over-flawed skin, pure strength within


She perused all her parts,

there she saw a woman full of scars.

Scars that mirror the wars she fought

and flaws naturally scattered in all sorts. 


No filter could fit, to really cover them zits

But don’t you know she’s loved for it?

Loved for these scars she can never delete.


A manifestation of absolute valour,

with her vibrant eyes focused on the colours

she never capitulated though odds weren’t in favour.

Battled ’til the end, despite carrying no armour.


She’s truly a woman with an “over-flawed” skin,

but such, with pure strength within.



5 lessons everyone should learn about LOVE

Love is my favourite. When i hear this word, I can hear his voice. When people talk happily about it, I see his smile. When people blame love for being miserable, it makes me question the real purpose of it, whilst imagining his enraged face due to our inevitable fights.

Love is so powerful it can make you the happiest and the saddest person at the same time. This paradox is a cliché, but only those who have experienced this 2-in-1 effect of love can only testify how ironically twisted love is.

Love is showing me these facets right now. Love makes me indefinably overjoyed, but recently it was shattering all pieces of me, including my state of mind, my weakened soul and my whole vulnerable self. I initially thought love only exacerbates the pain caused by a single person or situation but then I realized that love is only teaching me lessons. For me to grow, not only as a person but most significantly as a partner.

I have failed in love too many times it really sucks. I even thought once about abandoning love forever, but I couldn’t seem to do it. Love lies in the deepest layer of my bones I wouldn’t be able to just let it go. In spite of failing at it too many times, I still believe that once I have reached that level of maturity, applying all the lessons love has taught me the hard way, I would succeed in it. They say the most powerful advice comes from those who have been there, done that, felt it, suffered at it and eventually survived it. Hence, I will share to you the lessons love has taught me, despite the fact that love is not my expertise.

1. Love is not easily angered

Being a short-tempered woman that I am, it is quite a challenge for me to stay calm during fights, whether it’s minor or a major one, I couldn’t help myself but talk recklessly, resulting to a more serious damage. We should understand that we should not be easily angered under any circumstances and learn how to talk it out in the most serene way possible. Take a deep breath, hold your partner’s hand, and think thoroughly before you say something. Hurtful words will only aggravate the situation so be careful at what anger is forcing you to say.

2. Let love win over your ego

We had a fight recently and my egotistic self was too proud that I waited for almost a week before I spoke to him. I didn’t want to message first thinking it wasn’t my fault, but the repercussion of not following what love has been telling me to do (which is to talk to him) has made me the most miserable person on earth. Don’t let your ego eat you up, it will make you sick, it will never make you happy. Call your partner now and don’t prolong the agony you are creating for postponing the proper communication you should have done to fix things. In love, sometimes it doesn’t matter who the real culprit in the battle is, what matters most is how you end the war of love by apologizing and acknowledging the cause of it and letting love win just because love always wins.

3. Love is never selfish

When you’re the type of person who loves and gives too much (like I), you have this unavoidable tendency to feel tired especially if you think your partner is not putting in the same effort. This is normal because we WANT to receive love in return, don’t we? I mean, let’s not be hypocrites on this aspect, because I sure know you also crave to be loved just as much as the amount of love you can give to your partner. But what if it’s not identical? Should we find someone else that could give us what we want? Hell no. True love is not like that. Never ever count how much effort you are exerting in the relationship because love is never selfish. Do not accuse your partner of not helping you make things work because…

4. Love is spoken in different languages

It is purely true that each and everyone of us have different love languages thus we also perceive it in such a unique way. The way you show love may be totally distinct from the way your partner does it. Hence, you should never be disappointed if the love you can give is not given to you in the same form. Assess yourself to identify your love language and make sure you also ask your partner of his. Communicate it with him/her so you can manage your expectations and never get disappointed in the end.

5. Love is all we need

I don’t know about you, but this is what’s keeping me alive. My life has massively changed when I began to know Love. I don’t need no drugs nor alcohol to make me high, because love already does it to me everyday of my life. If you know how to love someone, you are lucky. It’s a privilege because I know some people who can’t even manage to love themselves, hence they couldn’t give it out to someone else. And if you are loved, you are blessed. Be grateful about it because not everyone can receive it. Love is all we need in this mundane world we’re in.

The lessons I have learned will stick within me as a reminder of the real power of love. Love is too strong no one can really break its purpose. Love is our fuel to get going. Without love, we have no reason to go on with our life. Love is an intangible gift from God. The best things in life are unseen just like when God speaks to us and when we close our eyes to kiss. Give love and choose love, always.


(Photo credit to the owner)

Invisible fear

I was listening carefully with every beat of it.

I put my right hand to my chest, to feel the message it brings.

I was bewildered by its deafening noise—it’s making me sick.

It seems like I was hearing a beat resembling them ones in horror movies.

Trying to decode the fear I can perfectly hear.

Is this even real?

Where does this fear come from?

Is this the fear of being alone or the fear of losing?

Oddly speaking, I couldn’t seem to find out its true meaning.

Perhaps, both or maybe I’m just hallucinating.

For a moment, I stared at the cup in front of me and then brushed off this phase of overthinking…

I sighed whilst smiling when I figured out I’m only palpitating…

this strong coffee is all but to blame.


(Photo credit to Pinterest)

Men, this is for you.

Are women really THAT complex?

Men, do you sometimes feel like you couldn’t decipher our indirect language and dramatic behaviour at times?

Probably most of my male readers would do a slow repetitive nod for this very common question about gender differences so I decided to write something that (hopefully) could enlighten you on how to deal with the enigmatic behaviour of women especially in terms of our hobby of starting a quarrel.

This, however, will focus on one thing. No big deal—only one single revelation that I urge you to please embrace with all your being, just in case you would find this fascinating.

There is no secret formula to crack the code inside a woman’s brain, you would only be needing an open mind and a heart that’s full of patience. Again, patience.

Have you ever witnessed your wife or girlfriend who all of a sudden got angry and when you asked her what’s wrong, she answered you with an enraged I-don’t-know?

If you’re sometimes lucky, we also get mad for a reason—but most of them are merely minor and petty.

It’s undeniably true that we also say no, when it really means yes. That today we love you but then a few minutes later, we hate you.

That’s when you would give us that strange look and we would get into your nerves and you would scratch your head and probably get angry in return for the mystery of our emotional roller coaster.

Men, listen.

This is the real reason behind this unknown source of dismay:


Lol, i know. I bet this is not like a new word for you but heyyy there’s something you need to know more about this, because Google would only define PMS as boring as this:

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is a combination of symptoms that many women get about a week or two before their period. Most women, over 90%, say they get some premenstrual symptoms, such as bloating, headaches, and moodiness.

This is yes, correct, but did you know that the symptoms, most especially moodiness, doesn’t only happen a week or two before our monthly visit? The fact of the matter is, it happens to our well being with no time frame, with irregular schedules, and no whatsoever reminder that we’re already PMSing. Even the “P” that stands for “pre”, also stands for “post” at times. We find this annoying too, just as much as you do, because there are times we find ourselves in deep loneliness (sometimes crying) over something uncertain. This is weird, we know that, but you have to understand that it ain’t easy. To be a woman of moodswings, that is.

So men, forgive us, if we shouted at you and started a fight you with little to no valid reason. We don’t really want to, but the abrupt changes in our body on a monthly basis is really devastating thus making our hormones go wild that creates some sort of an imbalance. This triggers the rage and the fury as our emotions go crazy. We don’t usually admit these things to you, out of fear of sounding weak, or just because we think you won’t understand. But seriously though, we got this. We’ve taken it all in and accepted this as a part of us, being ruled mostly by our Amygdala, with little control of it.

Acceptance is the key to simplify our complexity. As contradicting as it may seem, but if you really want to understand a woman’s brain, you have to be extra patient with us and in return, we’ll be all-out with you in terms of love.

Women will never stop PMSing, even until we reach the inexorable stage of menopausing. We are created to be an epitome of ambivalence, with a mind full of emotional fluctuations like the stock market. But nevertheless, we’re not using this as an excuse to have the license to start a fight from nothing but pure moodswinging, but for you to have a broad understanding of this flaw and to make you realize that despite this inevitable situation, we can rather compensate through our sweet gestures and sincere expression of tender love and care. 😉

Ps. Survival tip: When we’re going crazy, a kiss on the forehead and a tight hug is all we need to stay calm. No words—just these sweet gestures will be enough to make us feel safe.