He was still sleeping. The sound I made didn’t wake him up, ugh thank goodness. I silently made my way outside our room to search for a charger but I couldn’t find any. In the back of my head I was praying that the battery lasts ’til I get to feed the instincts of a crazy wife that I am. I hurriedly went to our bathroom downstairs and there I decided to read the secrets on this evil phone. It obviously doesn’t require a password, just by clicking the home button and the * key, it’s now unlocked! I took a deep breath before I clicked on the inbox.
I knew it. A woman’s instinct has always been right. Even though I haven’t read yet what’s inside the messages of the only person by the name of “Babe”, my heart was crushed in an instant. Both my eyes couldn’t help themselves but to release the pain by some initially tiny drops that has multiplied to such a heavy flow, no matter how much I force myself to stay composed, i just couldn’t. At this very moment, the walls look like they’re gonna break at any minute and I would unhesitatingly let it destroy me. I let the water flow in the faucet by the sink so just in case he figured out I wasn’t beside him and searched for me, he wouldn’t get to hear me crying.
And then after my drama scene just like in the movies, a sudden air of relief passed by reminding me to stay focused. I washed my face with cold water to wipe away the extra weight off it. I had to be brave, I thought. So I decided to read the messages and the first three messages read:
“I’m here now, where are you?” received 8:46 am 01/14/18
“I can’t wait to see you, babe.” received 08:30 am 01/13/18
“Babe, we’ll get through this. I love you, okay?” received 04:11 pm 01/12/18
Damn, it seriously hurts. I just utterly lost it—I shrieked carelessly finding myself sitting at the corner near the tub. I embraced both my legs whilst my face pressed onto my knees, no longer minding the sound I have to make because my mind is now filled with too much agonies. I have lost my supposed to be children, and now I am about to lose my husband. The voice inside me was blaming me, telling me it was all my fault. That maybe if I listened to him and didn’t get lost in the pain of the miscarriages, he shouldn’t have done this. The ones you see in the movies showing the strength of the wife being cheated on is a total bullsh*t. It’s really heart-shattering, or maybe I’m just too weak.
The evil phone beeped twice again showing a reminder of it’s critical low battery so I quickly looked at the call logs even before it goes off. Whilst still sitting on the bathroom floor I viewed the number of this slutty babe who’s been f*cking my husband. I was startled as soon as I get to see the number… Oh my God!
The number registered by the code name of “Babe” is not my husband’s mistress’s. It’s my husband’s number! This is clearly not Ryan’s phone but the mysterious mistress’s! Why is this in Ryan’s bag anyway? And the messages I just read were his messages to her. A sudden deep pinch weaken my soul for this revelation.
Even before I get to scrutinize the phone more, the screen goes off and turned black. The battery is now dead. I looked up and the clock says it’s already 2:01 am so I decided to clean off the mess that I am and went back to our room.
Ryan was still sleeping soundly when I entered our room. I still managed to sleep beside him despite the urge to wake him up so I could confront him. I stared closely at the back of his head, listening closely to the odd rhythm of his breathing, contemplating whether to wake him up or just wait for the alarm clock to sing.
I did the latter. It’s 6:58 in the morning now and I haven’t slept yet. If you were in my shoes how could you sleep knowing that your partner in life has betrayed you? In roughly two minutes the alarm went off. He shoved his hand to get his phone below his pillow and tapped the snooze button. I snatched the phone from him with such force and it apparently startled him.
“What’s wrong with you?”, he uttered in a calm yet surprised manner.
“I found an old phone from your laptop bag. Whose phone is that?” I said whilst standing up preparing myself for an emotional debate, his IPhone still on my right hand, the evil phone on the left. I didn’t wanna go around the bush anymore so I confronted him right away.
“What phone? I don’t know what you’re talking about!”, said Ryan in a high pitched tone this time, his voice is obviously shaking.
“Oh, c’mon Ry, stop lying to my face. You’ve been cheating on me, how long has this been going on? Who owns this f*ckin phone who looks like she literally left it in your bag so I could find out about this!”, I shouted, trying to hold back the tears that are about to fall.
“Sam, you’re hallucinating. I understand how the miscarriage affected you, I was badly hurt too. Please, just stop this”, he said whilst trying to go near me reaching for my hands. But I kept on circling around the room because I don’t want to feel his skin that has touched a different woman.
“Whuat?! Are you saying I’m just making this up?!”, I said with my left hand raising the small evil phone like a student waiting for the teacher to call me.
This time I wasn’t able to hold it, tears began falling, it’s too much of a pain.
He sighed deeply but failed to answer me. He refused to respond and decided to walk away. With so much anger I didn’t know what to do. He walked away again, like he always do.
I heard the door closed and by the window I saw him about to get in to the car. I usually just stay home and I never bothered following him everytime we have a serious fight. But this time, the voice inside me shouted at me saying I should do something. I hurriedly took off my night dress, grabbed my shirt and jeans from the closet and changed, picked up my bag and rapidly went out and locked the door. Luckily, I didn’t take so much time to find a taxi and he’s still in my radar. I instructed the driver to follow my husband to find out where he’s going. Because most likely, Ryan’s going to see her.
To be continued…