The meaning of it all

She closed her eyes to feel the warmth of the words that were too excited to escape. Words that have been jailed for quite a while, words that she kept to herself they ended up battling too much in her head. Ironic as it may seem, no matter how much she wanted to get turned on by the sensuality that writing usually gives her, she refused the treat—for she thought she didn’t deserve it.

“It’s not about “deserve”, it’s about what you believe.” -Wonder Woman

And despite of it all, all the mess and the war, she still believes in the power of love. Love that she puts in every work she does, no matter how many times she had failed herself or even others. She loved every splash of ink, every bit of ideas, every little sense of magic, every foolish mistakes, and everything that helps her create.

And that’s the point being.

You love it so much sometimes it hurts.Due to the unavoidable expectations that punch you in the face and the ineluctable, poisonous presence of fear that chokes you until your out of breath. You love it so much you want only the best. Not realizing that the more you love it, the more it’s tougher to get. That the best is yet to come, only if you strive to be better first.

And it’s okay. To struggle, to lose sight of direction and momentum. To sometimes experience a tremendous imbalance of emotions. It happens. For when you chose to take the road less travelled, you have to understand it’s much harder than the rest, that you will cry more often and it’s triple the pain. Many times you’ll be wounded, you will fall, you will be deceived—that’s because you do what you love and that you love what you do. You may rest from time to time but never throw away what you believe in. If you believe in love, keep it with you all the time and go back to it each time you get confused by the decisions you’ve got to make. Love always finds a way, always.

And it’s when you start to indulge the wild taste of darkness that you appreciate the brightness of the rainbow that’s meant for you. So don’t stop and take it all in. The meaning of it all can only be found by you.

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The girl who was undressed by evil 2

She woke up feeling tired and unease, like being asleep for so long. She knew something has changed in her as she delicately touch her face down to her shoulders, arms, belly and legs down to her toes. She studied all of her parts, but none was missing. She was complete but more. She knew something changed, she reckoned that the event from the night before was responsible for this very odd feeling.

Did everything just happen last night? 

She whispered to herself as she peered around the strange vastness of the room she’s in. The size of it made her feel small that paradoxically almost asphyxiated her whole system. And there’s no one there. Not even a single soul nor something that could possibly make a sound apart from the heaviness of her breathing. Nothing else was there except from the Japanese full sized bed with dark blue shiny sheets that was too troubling to look at. Fear instantly grasped her heart, but she ignored it.

She stood up  and gently closed her eyes while her hands converge with the pure black walls as she danced her way slowly through the four corners of her cage. Yes, she’s caged. That’s what she felt as she was sensing the texture and the life of the wide walls of her room. She then opened her eyes as she finished the tour, eyes that spoke of wrath and agony for the many questions in her mind that baffles her.

She’s 100% sure this wasn’t where she was tortured. This room is entirely different. As she reached the door, the only way to escape since there are no windows, she squeezed the knob to the right that produced such a frightening click that echoed inside the room for what seemed like eternity––a click that shouts of being locked there forever. The domino effect of it stayed in her head that made her fall onto her knees and with her trembling hands she tightly held and pulled the strands of her hair from her scalp like a mad woman lost in her own world. The fire in her eyes saw nothing but chaos. The fear she tried to ignore kicked in once again, and this time it was much larger than the first one.

She blinked and then a single line of tear from her left eye disturbed the tension in her cheek. And without holding back, she screamed at the top of her lungs to let go of the anxiety that strangles her soul.

“Arrrrrrgggghhhhhhh!” A loud vibrating growl like a lioness in an empty jungle, hungry for answers, enraged by the silence that was ironically deafening. With the extreme intensity of her scream, she watched the black concrete walls break with monstrous veins of crack like how an earthquake would do to a strong surface.

The crack continued to grow like it’s about to break the cage she’s in. She then grinned wildly not only because freedom is about to be granted to her, but most importantly because she knew she could do astonishing things she has never done before. And it stimulated her thoughts, to seek for the rest of the missing magnificent pieces that will complete the puzzle. She felt it in her bones that there’s more of her that she will soon be able to unleash.

 

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Read the first part here.

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