Way back when i was four

Tears can’t help but fall,

For these wounds I’ve been trying to ignore;

All coming from a wrecked core,

That has been messed up way back when i was four.

That vivid part where i heard i wasnt enough and I wasn’t capable.

“It’s okay… It’s not their fault”

Lines i kept believing all along.

But heavens and hell do know,

How i wanted to blame them for it all.

But the heart, oh this heart, even though torn,

Keeps on choosing to see the beauty of it all.

I need to face this though.

This shadow of blame and frustration

That haunt me each moment i got stuck in this scary dark room of my emotions.

I need to face this though.

And stop performing well in this fake show

Of being okay with this situation.

I need to face this, and gather this black shadowy smoke,

Put it inside a bunch of colorful balloons,

Let go of its strings that i hold,

So they could fly above the sky,

And watch them fly away and become so tiny in my sight.

Looking above, I’d sigh and smile,

For choosing to face the shadow that got me terrified.

And only time, darling, give me time,

I know i will heal, at the right time.

Tears can’t help but fall,

But I’m not holding it in anymore.