My semantic musings about light and darkness

We hear of it like a clichéd lexicon of the norm but what do we really know about it? What do you really know about darkness and the lightness of the weight of it?

How light, how peaceful, how religiously liberating to get in touch with the darkest parts of you that you were ignoring—out of fear of being unaccepted, out of fear of being judged. I go out there, out in the world with so much darkness i never deny of me. It allows my spirit to run freely, with no inhibitions, with no faking. And you know what? It’s intoxicating. Exciting. Full of spice. Full of depths that know its own desires. My desires are not purely angelic. Mostly aren’t.

And whenever i get in touch with this certain form of darkness, it gives me some sense of satisfaction. Like closing one’s eyes when you reach an orgasm—seeing nothing but feeling so much of a feeling you would always want to feel should you be allowed to. Correct? And metaphorically speaking, that’s how light it is to see nothing in the dark but feeling so connected to who you truly are. Do you know what i mean?

I used orgasm as an example (to align it with the darkness enveloped herein) but i know you know what i mean. I know you know that you, not embracing the darkest sides of who you are, actually prevents you from being authentic. And when you’re not being authentic, when you’re not being yourself, are you happy? Are you living a life you chose for yourself or someone else’s chose that for you? Are you stepping into the kind of man or woman of worth despite the fact that people around you judge you based on what they see wrong about you? Or up until now you’re still hiding behind your own shadow because you’re too afraid to be seen as someone people expect you shouldn’t be? And yes that’s the sad reality—culture and tradition has shaped the earlier generations with beliefs that we should act and behave a certain way that sometimes kills our insides because fck tradition, that’s not who you wanna be, right?

And everything is changing now. In fact, it’s transmuting into something more vibrant and more colorful than how we were. And if the world is now growing faster than ever before, have you checked on how much progress you have made? If you’re not progressing, you will feel stuck, thus, you won’t be happy. And this random musings about darkness and light is an invitation for you, to step into the light you can only find when you courageously stepped into the dark. Please, stop being apologetic for the way you behave. Stop pleasing people. Unfake the faking and start getting real with your real self.

You’re welcome.


  1. I’m interested to see what happens out here in China after the nCoV epidemic blows over… I have a feeling many Chinese will start learning to be more individualistic, instead of so traditionally collectivist. Sometimes it takes a natural disaster to wake people up!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Apple! I missed this post somehow. You are the only other person in the world that I know who thinks in terms of the light and dark of each person or self, and each entity in the universe by extension. I progressed the philosophy of the Yin and Yang into my understanding of myself and in knowing the necessity of each opposing aspect of who I am, I understand the whole or holistic life I live each day. Form this I find acceptance within myself and that gives me an unshakable confidence to live true to myself and to others. I miss your wisdom and I’m glad to feel your light through your words. I look forward to reading more of your views and stories.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Missed you too Apple. I know you have a busy life so I am always happy to hear from you and read your engaging posts.


    1. I felt drawn to your blog and was reading almost everything you’ve written and shared. I don’t know what to say really so i chose not to comment but instead, i want to send you so much love because you deserve it. And oh, btw, i love your tattoos!!! Especially the mask on your leg. 🥰😘 so beautiful!!!


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